TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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