She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize