If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
