stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
