All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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