Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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