I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
