and you said cock pushups were impossible
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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