I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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