I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
