Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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