We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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