I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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