dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
