That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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