tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
