does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
