Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i permit you to call me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
