i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
