he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
