quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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