The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
God, I missed his penis.
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