sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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