turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
