her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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