My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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