Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
