Pants 0. Shit 1.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
