I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
