so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
