And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
