she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
