just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
