Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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