there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
