There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
