so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
