That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
