I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize