so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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