Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
