C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
