You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
