The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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