Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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