he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
