Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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