Fuck appropriateness.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
