You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
