would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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