my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize