God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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