I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
