sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
