i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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