he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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