Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
