I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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