Pappa wants mamma naked
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize